Hope in the Methodist Model

A couple of weeks ago I was thinking about the “Facilitated Conversation” I’m off to tonight with dread. Do I really have to sit through rehearsing the same old arguments again? I know more than one person who has decided the whole thing is so boring now they are just opting out of being involved. However, over the last couple of weeks I have been thinking and reviewing some new resources which have come out and have changed my mind.

Firstly, this is not just about hearing the same old arguments about same sex marriage, Methodist Conference have given us the chance to ask ourselves if we want to go on a different journey to the one most of the  other denominations have chosen to go on.

Let me explain myself. The questions that Methodists are being asked in the consultation are:

Whether the Methodist understanding of Christian marriage should be revisited

Whether the 1992 Conference Statement "A Christian Understanding of Family Life, the Single Person and Marriage" should be updated.

The Marriage and Relationships Task Group has asked the Connexion to particularly consider and feedback on:

What missional and pastoral opportunities and challenges could result if the Methodist Church decided to revisit its definition of marriage?

What missional and pastoral opportunities and challenges could result if the Methodist Church decided not to revisit its definition of marriage?

Yes, these questions do include looking at the impact of the government changing the definition of same sex marriage and whether we should change our definitions in line but they also go beyond it. The church is also asking whether we need to re-examine our previous understandings on family life and singleness more generally. This gives us the opportunity to build upon the We Are Family research that the Methodist Church published last year which focused on the changing face of family in relation to children and families work.

The Church are also asking explicitly about missional and pastoral opportunities and challenges. My understanding is whilst other denominations may be touching on these things they are not explicitly asking them to be discussed. So whilst I have clear views on the first session which I will come to in a moment I am excited by the second question and I hope in the conversation I attend tonight there will be opportunity to discuss that in detail.

The second thing that has made me feel less cynical about the whole process is seeing the resources which the Connexion has recently made available as well as knowing they have more materials on the way to foster genuine debate and understanding between different views with an equality course (covering a whole range of equality issues not just sexuality).

The resources recently published include clear guidance on what is and isn’t homophobia. This is a particularly useful resource which I think will help people on both sides of the debate because it gives a framework in which people can talk to each other knowing where the appropriate boundaries are. As far as I understand it we are the first denomination to publish such clear guidance about what is and isn’t acceptable for those who disagree with same sex marriage, particularly, to say.

They also include a really helpful video cast conversation between two members of the working group the Methodist Church currently has on this.(The resource list linked to earlier has short and full versions). The conversation outlines both the breadth of the discussions but also what is really at the root of the debate – the question of which scriptural passages we should regard as of primary and fixed and which we should regard as secondary and more contextual. The video also makes the point that we need to learn to live with difference because whatever happens that difference is going to be there for many years to come. I find this resource exciting because it makes the point that if the church were to really engage with this we will find ourselves going much deeper into scripture and thinking about how we handle it as well as learning more about how to live with contradictory understandings (something I think is ever more important).

The other things which have excited me about the process as I have thought about it is the way in which questions about mission are being focused upon as well as pastoral understandings.

I am excited by this conversation because it has the potential for us to enter much wider discussions about mission in different contexts. In some situations we know a change to the current definition would cause significant challenges whilst in others it would open many doors. Thus, in even having this conversation we are thinking about contextual mission rather than generic mission.

So as you can see the Methodist Church discussions have a creative potentiality in them which I have not seen in the discussions from other denominations.

I have also been excited to see on the Alton Methodist Church site which Google helpfully directed me too Roots (a resource for preachers and worship leaders I am not often overly keen on) has produced some excellent resources to help various ages (including children) talk about how to live with difference. This resource has been produced to accompany the conversations but I believe is certainly very useful independently of them.

Now, within this I do not want to diminish the importance of the campaign for a recognition of all legal marriage by the church but I am saying that a conversation which stops at that and continues with the well-rehearsed debates is missing the opportunities which the Connexion is showing can come from the discussions.

With regard to the missional opportunities my own view is that whilst I can see they become harder in some communities I know that a revisiting will provide some really positive opportunities. The one good thing to come out of the mess we currently have and the campaigns to promote equality seems to be that the secular LGBT world is taking religion and faith more seriously and seeking to be more open to it. The theme of the current LGBTHistory Month is Religion, Belief and Philosophy. As part of this the LGBT campaign group Stonewall have produced a series of short biographies on LGBT people of various faiths. It has been humbling that through this my husband has been given the opportunity to share his testimony and faith with a larger number of people.

* post yesterday evening comment.....disappointed! The conversation was very positive - too positive in many ways as it was clear not all voices had chosen to come along to be heard.

Most worryingly the conversation was only on the first question and only looked at marriage not marriage and relationships. There was no reference to the 1992 Conference Statement. What I must gather from this is that there is not consistency across the Connexion on how this has been handled on the ground. The facilitators were very good it just seems that messages have somehow got a little mixed up on what questions Conference wants feedback on. If somebody could clarify is it just the one question our District is addressing or is it both as is inferred by the introduction to the main web page on the Methodist Church page and as explicitly referred to on the Alton Methodist website, linked to above it would be useful.

Challenges the We Are Family The Changing Face of Family Ministry Report lays down for Local Preachers

A new report We Are Family: The Changing Face of Family Ministry by Gail Adcock, Karen Garry and Polly Goodwin has been recently published. It was a report commissioned by the Methodist Church and Consultative Group on Ministry Amongst Children. It is an interesting report which is strongly rooted on exploring what is happening on the ground ecumenically, and within Methodist Churches more specifically.

There are a range of directions I could take writing about this report and initially I was going to review it in detail. However, the more I read the clearer it became that this report has something really important to say to those of us who are worship leaders and local preachers and I want to flag this up, encouraging others to read and think about the challenges it lays down. A visually attractive, easy to read summary of the report is available as well as the more in depth report.

The first thing is it underlines something we already know that family types in the UK are changing. The report makes the point that we need to take this on practically as well as intellectually. The one question which respondents gave 100% affirmation the one which related to having single parents amongst those they were working with. That means every single families worker spoken to has single parents amongst those they are working with.

A sizeable number also had same sex couples within those within the contexts they were practitioners in. Although there was not the same level of certainty on this question.

Cohabiting couples are also going to be increasingly part of the two parent heterosexual couples being worked with, as the report highlighted.

A number of children were also adopted or in care.

Another aspect which was drawn out is something which is not new but needs to be recognised, many people come to church with grandparents or others who are not their parents.

The families workers spoken to were primarily working with families who had children aged under 11. This crossed over with the fact many were involved in Messy Church initiatives which as recent Church Army research has shown is likely to be lay-lay led, i.e. led by lay people who have no formal training or authorisation of role beyond being given responsibility locally for this work.

So what has all this got to do with local preachers and worship leaders?

Well I want to argue quite a lot.

1.    If you are asked to lead a children’s, all age or family service what definition of family do you have in mind?

“What do we mean by family?” is something the report indicated draws a wide range of responses from both individuals and the churches they are working in. Being asked to do a family service in the modern context needs reflection upon what do we mean by family and who is likely to be there. The answers need to be wider than those we might feel used to working with.

2.    What terms do you use within worship and particularly to children with regards to the adults who are with them?

We have now moved on to using parents or carers as terms, being sensitive to looked after children. Yet, if we know the congregations we are working with we use the more specific terms. I want to ask how often we include the grandparents who may often bring them?

3.    What impact might these findings have on our leading of Mothering Sunday or Father’s Day services?

There might be differences between what has traditionally been done and what is actually contextually appropriate. The worship leader or preacher should be able to reflect on this and work out how to incorporate tradition in a more appropriate way. This may involve looking at different cultural contexts and understandings of family as well as family types.

4.    What passages do we choose to use and how do we use them to talk about family?

Regular readers will know I get very up tight with the fact that we do not include the story of Hagar in the lectionary. Hers is the story of a single mother which I believe strongly we can use much more in white majority churches to talk into a range of situations linked to single parents.

5.    What is our understanding of intergenerational church & how does this impact our service planning, content of our preaching?

Many of our congregations may be predominantly older but they may contain a handful of young people too. Do we manage to embrace all or do we set them up against each other in terms of feeling that we cannot integrate material for all within one service? Similarly do we compartmentalise and so the first 15 mins is child friendly excluding the over 10’s and the rest is aimed at the over 70’s excluding the rest of the congregation? Or do we work so hard at incorporating new material from Singing the Faith which the 30-50 age group will probably be more familiar with that we end up excluding practically everybody? I exaggerate….but only slightly.

6.    How well do we know the contexts we are going to preach in?

The first part of this is a big problem for many preachers and goes beyond thinking about family ministry. Particularly if we have not been in the circuit long what do we know about the contexts we are going into and are we able to adapt what we are doing at short notice if we find out there are important things about the context we are not aware of already? How do we get the information which helps us to be contextually aware? I think this is where local preachers meetings can have a helpful role in where people can talk about the context of different churches to ensure people are aware.

 

7.    Do we ever talk to those engaged in families work to find how we might be able to assist them beyond the Sunday Service?

I ask this because we tend to think that as worship leaders and preachers we are being trained to fill slots on the Sunday plan. What about if we could be a resource to help families workers who are leading a range of other activities. Perhaps by working with them on short, bite size, culturally appropriate worship for the contexts they are working in.