Wednesday 19 May 2021

Good News and Honesty

 As most of you who are likely to read this know I am a queer, Chrisitian, disabled woman (dyslexic and dyspraxic) who supports Ipswich Town FC who is married to a trans masculine, disabled, bi Methodist Minister who supports Man U. I found myself choosing to get arrested on Waterloo Bridge when I took breakfast down to the Extinction Rebellion peeps a couple of years ago and I am generally a bit of a leftie. If we went back a while I'd have been called a single mum too, and I was divorced. For some this mixture is a bit of a mind f**k because they see these things as contradictory. For others they worry because the church has not always been good news for those with this type of identity mix. 

The thing I have found over the years though, is that God's good news is that he loves us whatever labels we put on ourselves or have put on by others. 

God wants us to flourish and I've found he helps us do that by leading us to a place where we can put our energy into being ourselves not trying to live by others expectations. Now I'm not saying he says absolutely anything goes, rather that God's healthy intentions for each one of us are slightly less rigid than some faith traditions would have us believe.

The good news which God offers is being able to live in openess and honesty. It's about integrity not putting on masks. Too often though that is what people have been led to believe about God, that it involves pretending to be who you're not. Well the thing about this is if, as I believe, God knows all about us then he can see through us all anyway. There is no point trying to pretend to God our identity is anything other than it is because he knows anyway. And he wants us to flourish in that identity, as long as it is not doing harm to others. 

You might be saying, oh yes...how do you know. Well I'll be honest I tried way too long to pretend I was someone I wasn't and it didn't work. The energy I was putting into that was wasted. When I stopped trying and accepted who I was and I found a new partner that I was in love with my life began to change dramatically. It was through not repressing myself, not being ashamed of labels, (and getting medical support for depression), that I was set free to serve God in ways I couldn't have imagined. There is a similar story for my husband and it was through saying yes to who God intended us to be as well as to his call on our lives that He was able to take us on a new adventure, a few years ago when my husband was called to be a Methodist minister. 


Is it always easy? No, we follow somebody who ultimately ended up going to the cross because he was too radical for the authorities, (as well as choosing to go there because of his love for us). Do I always get it right? No, that's why it is good I can say sorry to God and let him know I want his help and support moving forward in the right direction. 

Why am I writing this today. Honest answer is partly for a Methodist course I'm doing on Evangelism for Leaders. Other bit of the answer though is because I still know alot of people who have similar labels are taught God is only good news for them if they will deny who they are. This isn't right it's abusive and why I believe we need to stop conversion therapy in all it's forms, (including when it comes in the guise of discussions about living a more Godly life). I want you to know that God's good news is he loves you and wants you to flourish. 




Saturday 20 February 2021

10. Things we can learn from The Church Who Needs It? We Do!

This week I've been reading The Church, Who Needs it? We Do! by Yvonne Bennett and the Women of Mummies Republic. I want to reflect on 10 things I have learnt from this book

1. That the experience of black, women, pioneers in the church and the communities they are forming are being written about. Note here, I reckon there may be some saying what black, women pioneers? The data shows that pioneers are most likely to be white males this book makes visible some work going on you might not be aware of.

2. That sometimes it's not the academic level of the book it's the content and experience in being given voice that matters. I'll be honest this book which falls into the realm of sociology of religion is not the most academic book on the I've read. It has a clear lit review and good reflexivity by the writer but it's not your usual academic text. What this does do very well though is give voice to the lived experience of the women in this book.

3. That sometimes you have to look outside the usual suspects to find good theology and sociology of religion texts. If I who published the stuff in this area I would quickly say, SCM Press, Canterbury Press, DLT and Routledge and these are the main publishers I look at in terms of what's new. This book isn't published by any of them; it's by Clink Press. I was lucky to see a tweet a friend, who is the husband of the pioneer in this book, had written. Otherwise it would have taken much longer to hit my radar.

4. That this book has the power of an early punk record by having the power and DIY ethos whilst being highly political and being a voice speaking truth to power. This book is not just by the academic who studied them, it's written in collaboration with them to give them voice. It is telling the truth about their experience with Universal Credit and the problems with the system as well as telling the story of how this pioneer community works and what people get from it. The fact that it has the points mentioned in 1-3 all contribute to this.

5. That the system needs to be worked with as well as fought to build relationship and trust. Ok so I didn't learn this from the book, I already knew it but this book reinforces it especially in a particularly powerful section about mental health issues.

6. That some of the findings I got from my own research on Single Parents in Evangelical Churches almost a decade ago now also relate to single parents in this pioneer community. In my study on single parent hood in evangelical churches I found that small groups were the key place of support and I talked about the way that these could take different forms. Those which took a holistic approach were those I identified as helping people share information and support each other best. That's what this community is doing.

7. We focus on learning black history without taking on that we need to also be learning about black experience now. Might seem daft and I don't know about you but I have been challenged to learn more about black history through the #BlackLivesMatter campaign. Yet, I have not balanced that with the importance of finding out about black lives now.

8. We need to be careful about pigeon holing those who are black and/ or on universal credit. The women in this book are on the whole part-time workers struggling to survive on universal credit. However, they are more than that and the pioneer in this book, who is doing some amazing work from a different position is also a black woman of a similar age. This book highlights similarities in experience but we must and should not generalise from them, except to say Universal Credit isn't working as it should.

9. Church isn't just Sunday mornings.

10. This book is a breath of fresh air please buy it and let others know about it, all monies raised through it go to Mummies Republic.





Thursday 18 February 2021

From Social Media to Social Ministry Review

Randomly, in a conversation this lunchtime, I was given some encouragement about the book reviews I put on here and so these are now going to be the focus of this blog. Today I'm focusing on From Social Media to Social Ministry: A Guide to Digital Discipleship by Nona Jones.

I first came across Nona's work on a Citizen's UK training call a few months ago, when she was on there as the Facebook Faith liaison person and was talking about some of the stuff in this book. The fact that she has a Facebook role is relevant to this book, it's why she talks about how to use their platforms, primarily. The first part of the book goes through "The Why" including "Why Facebook?" in chapter four and makes a compelling argument for using the platform. 

Within the first part of the book the message is clear, if you think of your digital congregation and participants as an audience in the traditional sense then you're missing the purpose of fellowship and building disciples. Churches need to not only put out content but more importantly engage relationship. This is why a clear tip of the book is it will be useful to have a social media pastor to head up this sort of work. 

The second and third part of the book go through how you move from Social Media to Social Ministry talking through the way a Facebook Campus works, (it is an American book) and then how you launch, lead and grow your Facebook Campus.

Now I have to say that I found it a good book, and the best on this type of subject I have come across. Yet, and this is the important part I'm not sure how many churches in the UK, who are currently having to think about how they keep things going on the reduced resources they're facing can go for this in the way outlined.

What I think they can do is perhaps use the principles to grow small groups and new missional communities. 

To do this there are a few things which come from the book which they will need to think about seriously:

1) Our churches have traditionally been formed around geographic areas, do we want to stay wedded to that model? If the answer is yes then this is not the road to go down.

2) Do we have the resources to put into doing this properly and are we ready to invest over the long term ? If the answer is no then this is not the road to go down.

3) Will we see this the poor relation to the main church building work? If the answer is yes then this is not the road to go down.

4) Do we want to build relationship or improve our communications strategy? If the answer is the latter then this is not the road to go down, it does not preclude the first approach but it will be separate from it.

5) Are we ready to build buy in around this and treat them as a community within our wider community but one which is also separate? If the answer is no then this is not the road to go down.

So where does that leave us? Well, I think it leaves us in an interesting place where we have to ask ourselves some difficult questions for the future as we come out of lockdown:

1) Do we expect people to attend a local church in person? Or at least go to one which they can travel to physically? - The answer may be yes, but in reality I think many of us have gotten comfortable with digital worship and may choose to stay with that as our main form of relationship with church. It might be that we still go to Sunday mornings but we've found how much easier it is not to have to travel to meetings, how we can engage with people from a wider range of locations on line and so on. I think the reality is we are going to have to develop a real hybrid approach.

2) Can we expect every church to provide this type of hybrid approach - the simple answer is no. Many were on the brink before lockdown and may find themselves over the edge now. Hybrid by one church, connected to a group of local churches who can only resource physical could be the way forward. Alternatively, a range of churches across the country with similar styles of worship might want to work together.

3) Are our denominations ready for this change? No, thinking about the way in Methodism the circuit, district and Connexion are set up. They are based on geographic boundaries and ways of being. Ironically, the Connexional relationship is a network based one and so may provide us with the best hope of moving forward. The Connexional model may now see more single congregations or groups of congregation which take a different form, acknowledging that they have members and congregants outside the immediate geographical area. This already happens in some places but we need to develop a way that people can work beyond geographical areas to access training and so on. This is something through Webinars, etc the Learning Network is starting to address.

So is the book worth reading? Most definitely, if only to think about why this approach sounds great but may not work for us now. It is a book which highlights how we need to change and adapt to the increasingly networked society we find ourselves in.






Monday 8 February 2021

7 Killer Resources for Clergy Partners / Spouses

 I'm now three and a half years in to being a clergy spouse; five and a half if you include the training period and I want to share seven resources I've found really useful in helping me. 

1. The Daily Menu Board - This enables you to menu plan according to the evening appointments that your clergy person and maybe yourself will have. You can note on the time you're going to eat, fitting in with everybody's diary and if it's a day you need to get the slow cooker out because diaries don't allow you to eat together.

2. Membership to the cinema or a local amenity like a gallery, garden or museum
Budgeting is important but so is being able to slip away somewhere nice and nearby if you find yourself having a few hours together. It also means the day off is likely to be used well, even if the weather isn't so good.

When we were training at Queen's in Birmingham Winterbourne Gardens and their tea room were our little place of refuge. Now in London, and with a little more money Historic Royal Palaces and Tate Gallery membership are two of our key memberships. Hampton Court is in walking distance and in non-covid times membership also gives hubby somewhere a little different to go and sermon write sometimes. Tate Membership gives us free entry to all the exhibitions at the London Tate galleries, which over the year adds up.

3. A Diary for updates and initialling a date with each other

Diaries can often seem the enemy of the clergy partner, particularly the clergy person's diary. But it can be a friend, sort of. 

Regularly sitting down and comparing diaries allows you to identify where there are gaps you can use for a date night, for example. In this case get him to diary "meeting with initials" so nobody can say it is only your partner you're meeting with. 

Diary checking can also ensure nothing has slipped in on the day off and if it has that it is really unavoidable.

Finally, as shown above, it can be really helpful in meal planning.


4. The inspiration board

Being a clergy partner can sometimes seem hard, when everybody else seems to get the other halves attention apart from you. It's important to remember you matter. This is one reason I have an inspiration board. It also helps me stay motivated and develop my own spirituality.





5. Little Treats for yourself

It can be the little things which remind you that you matter. For me getting a Starbucks on my exercise route is something which falls into this category. It doesn't cost and arm and a leg to give yourself little treats like this which remind you that you matter and have value even if it seems you feel like second fiddle at times.






6. Books and articles by and for clergy spouses 

There are books and booklets by clergy spouses and partners. The Grove Booklet, Living as a Clergy Spouse by Matthew Caminer is just one of them. 


7. Clergy Spice - FB group for clergy partners

There are groups which exist for clergy partners and my personal favourite is Clergy Spice, a Facebook group which brings people together online and occasionally offline, with meetups at festivals like Greenbelt.