Challenges the We Are Family The Changing Face of Family Ministry Report lays down for Local Preachers

A new report We Are Family: The Changing Face of Family Ministry by Gail Adcock, Karen Garry and Polly Goodwin has been recently published. It was a report commissioned by the Methodist Church and Consultative Group on Ministry Amongst Children. It is an interesting report which is strongly rooted on exploring what is happening on the ground ecumenically, and within Methodist Churches more specifically.

There are a range of directions I could take writing about this report and initially I was going to review it in detail. However, the more I read the clearer it became that this report has something really important to say to those of us who are worship leaders and local preachers and I want to flag this up, encouraging others to read and think about the challenges it lays down. A visually attractive, easy to read summary of the report is available as well as the more in depth report.

The first thing is it underlines something we already know that family types in the UK are changing. The report makes the point that we need to take this on practically as well as intellectually. The one question which respondents gave 100% affirmation the one which related to having single parents amongst those they were working with. That means every single families worker spoken to has single parents amongst those they are working with.

A sizeable number also had same sex couples within those within the contexts they were practitioners in. Although there was not the same level of certainty on this question.

Cohabiting couples are also going to be increasingly part of the two parent heterosexual couples being worked with, as the report highlighted.

A number of children were also adopted or in care.

Another aspect which was drawn out is something which is not new but needs to be recognised, many people come to church with grandparents or others who are not their parents.

The families workers spoken to were primarily working with families who had children aged under 11. This crossed over with the fact many were involved in Messy Church initiatives which as recent Church Army research has shown is likely to be lay-lay led, i.e. led by lay people who have no formal training or authorisation of role beyond being given responsibility locally for this work.

So what has all this got to do with local preachers and worship leaders?

Well I want to argue quite a lot.

1.    If you are asked to lead a children’s, all age or family service what definition of family do you have in mind?

“What do we mean by family?” is something the report indicated draws a wide range of responses from both individuals and the churches they are working in. Being asked to do a family service in the modern context needs reflection upon what do we mean by family and who is likely to be there. The answers need to be wider than those we might feel used to working with.

2.    What terms do you use within worship and particularly to children with regards to the adults who are with them?

We have now moved on to using parents or carers as terms, being sensitive to looked after children. Yet, if we know the congregations we are working with we use the more specific terms. I want to ask how often we include the grandparents who may often bring them?

3.    What impact might these findings have on our leading of Mothering Sunday or Father’s Day services?

There might be differences between what has traditionally been done and what is actually contextually appropriate. The worship leader or preacher should be able to reflect on this and work out how to incorporate tradition in a more appropriate way. This may involve looking at different cultural contexts and understandings of family as well as family types.

4.    What passages do we choose to use and how do we use them to talk about family?

Regular readers will know I get very up tight with the fact that we do not include the story of Hagar in the lectionary. Hers is the story of a single mother which I believe strongly we can use much more in white majority churches to talk into a range of situations linked to single parents.

5.    What is our understanding of intergenerational church & how does this impact our service planning, content of our preaching?

Many of our congregations may be predominantly older but they may contain a handful of young people too. Do we manage to embrace all or do we set them up against each other in terms of feeling that we cannot integrate material for all within one service? Similarly do we compartmentalise and so the first 15 mins is child friendly excluding the over 10’s and the rest is aimed at the over 70’s excluding the rest of the congregation? Or do we work so hard at incorporating new material from Singing the Faith which the 30-50 age group will probably be more familiar with that we end up excluding practically everybody? I exaggerate….but only slightly.

6.    How well do we know the contexts we are going to preach in?

The first part of this is a big problem for many preachers and goes beyond thinking about family ministry. Particularly if we have not been in the circuit long what do we know about the contexts we are going into and are we able to adapt what we are doing at short notice if we find out there are important things about the context we are not aware of already? How do we get the information which helps us to be contextually aware? I think this is where local preachers meetings can have a helpful role in where people can talk about the context of different churches to ensure people are aware.

 

7.    Do we ever talk to those engaged in families work to find how we might be able to assist them beyond the Sunday Service?

I ask this because we tend to think that as worship leaders and preachers we are being trained to fill slots on the Sunday plan. What about if we could be a resource to help families workers who are leading a range of other activities. Perhaps by working with them on short, bite size, culturally appropriate worship for the contexts they are working in.