Dear Rachel,
You and Jacob seem to have been a genuine love story, he
was willing to work for you initially and again when he was given your sister
rather than you.
I wonder what the relationship between Leah and yourself
was. One gets the feeling that you had been the bright pretty one growing up
and because of her poor eyesight Leah was viewed as the more unfortunate of the
two of you.
It seems the tables turned when Leah started having
children and you were unable to. I am not sure you were used to being jealous
of her but when it occurred it was an intense and violent emotion.
Whilst your words to Jacob on the matter seem to be a bit
of a drama queen moment I understand that in your culture, even as in ours
today childlessness can be extremely painful.
Was your jealousy caused by a mixture of pain and fear and
partly by Leah’s insensitivity?
I know in the culture I live there is a focus on the
language of “family” which excludes the childless and indeed through some
policies disadvantages those without.
One thing which I have found difficult with the language
used in the “what is marriage?” debates going on at the moment is the focus
which is once again being given to procreation. I worry that the debate
excludes and ignore heterosexual couples who can’t have children and use
language which must be extremely difficult for them.
In terms of the fear were you worried about what would
happen when Jacob died? There was no welfare system and Leah had a security you
didn’t.
When you and Jacob argue it seems to have been a really
passionate argument.
In terms of a solution you, like Sarah, use a concubine as
a surrogate mother. Was this a common situation in your culture? It seems that
because of how Leah did the same that it would have been common.
On one hand, living
in a very different culture, I find it repugnant you could make your servant have
sex to bear you a child. Looking through modern eyes I would say that you
forced your servant to be raped in order to provide you with a child.
On the other hand in a society where the social
arrangements were different I can see that it may have made sense and indeed
the servants who were chosen to fulfil this role could have benefitted through
it. They would have nursed their children because you didn’t have artificial
milk and would probably have had a key role in bringing them up.
The rivalry between yourself and Leah seems fierce and
illustrates to me why polygamy is an unhealthy approach and why it is good we
now generally have monogamy. The episode with Reuben and the mandrakes seems to
sum it up. You were clearly the dominant partner and you used that for your own
benefit.
The attitudes you have to sex confuse me. I can’t get my
head around of saying your sister could have your husband for sex one night if
she gave you some food.
It seems quite comical when Leah goes and tells Jacob he is
having sex with her that night. God seems to have had a compassion for her
which suggests your treatment of her was not great.
The fact you say God has taken your disgrace when you get
pregnant shows that you had a difficult time being childless in your culture.
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