I'm now three and a half years in to being a clergy spouse; five and a half if you include the training period and I want to share seven resources I've found really useful in helping me.
1. The Daily Menu Board - This enables you to menu plan according to the evening appointments that your clergy person and maybe yourself will have. You can note on the time you're going to eat, fitting in with everybody's diary and if it's a day you need to get the slow cooker out because diaries don't allow you to eat together.
2. Membership to the cinema or a local amenity like a gallery, garden or museum
Budgeting is important but so is being able to slip away somewhere nice and nearby if you find yourself having a few hours together. It also means the day off is likely to be used well, even if the weather isn't so good.
When we were training at Queen's in Birmingham Winterbourne Gardens and their tea room were our little place of refuge. Now in London, and with a little more money Historic Royal Palaces and Tate Gallery membership are two of our key memberships. Hampton Court is in walking distance and in non-covid times membership also gives hubby somewhere a little different to go and sermon write sometimes. Tate Membership gives us free entry to all the exhibitions at the London Tate galleries, which over the year adds up.
3. A Diary for updates and initialling a date with each other
Diaries can often seem the enemy of the clergy partner, particularly the clergy person's diary. But it can be a friend, sort of.
Regularly sitting down and comparing diaries allows you to identify where there are gaps you can use for a date night, for example. In this case get him to diary "meeting with initials" so nobody can say it is only your partner you're meeting with.
Diary checking can also ensure nothing has slipped in on the day off and if it has that it is really unavoidable.
Finally, as shown above, it can be really helpful in meal planning.
4. The inspiration board
Being a clergy partner can sometimes seem hard, when everybody else seems to get the other halves attention apart from you. It's important to remember you matter. This is one reason I have an inspiration board. It also helps me stay motivated and develop my own spirituality.
5. Little Treats for yourself
It can be the little things which remind you that you matter. For me getting a Starbucks on my exercise route is something which falls into this category. It doesn't cost and arm and a leg to give yourself little treats like this which remind you that you matter and have value even if it seems you feel like second fiddle at times.
6. Books and articles by and for clergy spouses
There are books and booklets by clergy spouses and partners. The Grove Booklet, Living as a Clergy Spouse by Matthew Caminer is just one of them.
7. Clergy Spice - FB group for clergy partners
There are groups which exist for clergy partners and my personal favourite is Clergy Spice, a Facebook group which brings people together online and occasionally offline, with meetups at festivals like Greenbelt.
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